From the Crystal Ally Deck
Original writing by Kathryn Ravenwood
Division and duality are the push and pull of life. This or that. Yes or no. Go or stay. Regular or decaf. We choose one thing and let something else go. We rejoice and regret, win or lose, succeed or fail. Millions of events, thoughts, actions, and decisions make up the complicated stories of our lives. Nothing is simple. The past, present and future exist simultaneously within us – we struggle with that and try to make a linear sense of it. Time zooms along as we try to catch up or ride the wave of it. Mindfulness is lost in anxiety. We can feel frustrated and fragmented. Wholeness? What is that?
The card shown above always encourages me. A mosaic of little pieces of turquoise have combined into the matrix of a full circle. I can well imagine those individual bits strewn across space in a seemingly random pattern, the very essence of chaos. And yet, here they have gathered together and formed a whole. Turquoise itself is a matrix of different minerals which create the beautiful colors we treasure in the stone. The circle is the symbol of unbroken and eternal being and yet in the picture it, too, looks to be made of individual parts - perhaps like tree rings imprinting the annual influences that caused the tree to grow in a certain way; drought or flood, fire or disease, not enough sun, or an easy year allowing solid growth. How those parts and pieces, influences and conditions come together form the matrix of the tree. The same is true for you or me.
Wholeness lies not in unbroken perfection but in the play and arrangement of all the pieces. It is emotional, cellular, physical, mental, active, passive, energetic, vibrational, black and white and living color. Every aspect of our lives is what Normandi Ellis calls “our eternal becoming.” At any moment, with every breath, we are absolutely a whole being connected body to soul, living on earth and existing in spirit. Our matrix continues to evolve and build upon itself. Like the card above, our Wholeness sits between the two pillars, between the dualities; the mosaic of the Whole holding the space within the dark void from which all possibility arises and from which we create our unique and sacred existence.
So take a breath. Exhale. Breathe again. While you are doing that your body cells are dying off and being replaced. The Earth is spinning around the Sun. Rivers are flowing, flowers are opening their buds, insects are singing, worms are making dirt from compost. Breathe. You are a collection of moments, each precious and never to be repeated again. You are a whirling energy gathering the wisdom of your experiences, your body, your mind, your heart. The Wholeness of who you are hangs like a great web shining with silky dew drops in the morning light. Every breath is a new beginning, every moment another mosaic in the matrix.
Nothing is perfect. The Navajo weavers, in respect to Great Spirit, deliberately created a flaw in each of their rugs. They knew we are humans, not perfection. Yet the finished rug would be an amazing piece of art and beauty, each passing of the shuttle drawing texture, color, prayers, songs, the warmth of the day, the smoke of the fire, the memory of sheep.
Let go of perfection. Rejoice in your Wholeness. Embrace each crazy, unknown, scary and beautiful piece of who you are. There will never be another like you.