WHOLENESS
From the Crystal Ally Deck
Original writing by Kathryn Ravenwood
Division
and duality are the push and pull of life. This or that. Yes or no. Go or stay.
Regular or decaf. We choose one thing and let something else go. We rejoice and
regret, win or lose, succeed or fail. Millions of events, thoughts, actions, and
decisions make up the complicated stories of our lives. Nothing is simple. The
past, present and future exist simultaneously within us – we struggle with that
and try to make a linear sense of it. Time zooms along as we try to catch up or
ride the wave of it. Mindfulness is lost in anxiety. We can feel frustrated and
fragmented. Wholeness? What is that?
The card
shown above always encourages me. A mosaic of little pieces of turquoise have
combined into the matrix of a full circle. I can well imagine those individual
bits strewn across space in a seemingly random pattern, the very essence of
chaos. And yet, here they have gathered together and formed a whole. Turquoise
itself is a matrix of different minerals which create the beautiful colors we
treasure in the stone. The circle is the symbol of unbroken and eternal being
and yet in the picture it, too, looks to be made of individual parts - perhaps
like tree rings imprinting the annual influences that caused the tree to grow
in a certain way; drought or flood, fire or disease, not enough sun, or an easy
year allowing solid growth. How those parts and pieces, influences and
conditions come together form the matrix of the tree. The same is true for you
or me.
Wholeness
lies not in unbroken perfection but in the play and arrangement of all the
pieces. It is emotional, cellular, physical, mental, active, passive,
energetic, vibrational, black and white and living color. Every aspect of our
lives is what Normandi Ellis calls “our eternal becoming.” At any moment, with
every breath, we are absolutely a whole being connected body to soul, living on
earth and existing in spirit. Our matrix continues to evolve and build upon
itself. Like the card above, our
Wholeness sits between the two pillars, between the dualities; the mosaic of
the Whole holding the space within the dark void from which all possibility
arises and from which we create our unique and sacred existence.
So take
a breath. Exhale. Breathe again. While you are doing that your body cells are
dying off and being replaced. The Earth is spinning around the Sun. Rivers are
flowing, flowers are opening their buds, insects are singing, worms are making
dirt from compost. Breathe. You are a collection of moments, each precious and
never to be repeated again. You are a whirling energy gathering the wisdom of
your experiences, your body, your mind, your heart. The Wholeness of who you
are hangs like a great web shining with silky dew drops in the morning light.
Every breath is a new beginning, every moment another mosaic in the matrix.
Nothing
is perfect. The Navajo weavers, in respect to Great Spirit, deliberately
created a flaw in each of their rugs. They knew we are humans, not perfection.
Yet the finished rug would be an amazing piece of art and beauty, each passing
of the shuttle drawing texture, color, prayers, songs, the warmth of the day,
the smoke of the fire, the memory of sheep.
Let go
of perfection. Rejoice in your Wholeness. Embrace each crazy, unknown, scary
and beautiful piece of who you are. There will never be another like you.
